So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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