Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
