dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
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