Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
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