I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
