She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
