Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
