just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
