The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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