chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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