Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
You have to summon your inner elephant
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
