It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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