Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
