he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Mom said you looked used
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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