i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
