That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
