Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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