i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
