the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
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