remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
