I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize
