how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
