just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
