Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Of course I have a pirate flag
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Randomize
