Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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