i think my mom watched the whole time
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
