So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
