my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
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