mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
What a dumb baby whore.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
