I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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