I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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