my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize