seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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