i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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