I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
