so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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