i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
