okay pat passed out under dana's car
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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