yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
