I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
babies were throwing up all over the place
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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