He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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