you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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