yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
