And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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