this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
