There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
that's an acceptable place to lick
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
