apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Randomize
