My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
