Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I deserve this hangover.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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