She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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