We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
