so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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