i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize