i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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