508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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