Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
