theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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