we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
