I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
