imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Mom said you looked used
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
