I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
